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by Donovanspen



Series: Whumptober 2019 [29]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec Lightwood Needs A Hug, Arguing, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Alec Lightwood, Jealous Alec Lightwood, M/M, Prompt: Numb, Sad Alec Lightwood, Whumptober 2019
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:48:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22044355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Donovanspen/pseuds/Donovanspen
Summary: A bad fight with Magnus has Alec shutting down emotionally.
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Series: Whumptober 2019 [29]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1503425
Comments: 48
Kudos: 309





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Alec stopped in front of his mother’s shop. He didn’t want to be here, but he had nowhere else to go. He’d been wandering the streets for the past few hours. He wasn’t welcome at the loft, and he couldn’t go back to the Institute. He was adrift, but he couldn’t keep walking. He stepped inside and hoped the shop would be empty. He wasn’t in the mood to be around other people, and he hoped his mother would accept his presence without question. He should have known better.

“Alec!” She greeted him with a warm smile that he couldn’t bring himself to return. Maybe it was his grimace or just mother’s intuition, but her smile slipped, and she was immediately filled with concern. “Sweetheart, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” he replied with a shrug. “Can I stay here for a while?”

“What? Of course. You know you’re always welcome.” Maryse hovered as she studied him.

Alec knew she wanted answers, but he truly didn’t feel like talking. He also didn’t want to worry her. “Magnus and I had a fight. He said it was best if I left.”

Maryse covered her mouth with her hand and took a moment before replying. “Alec, what happened?” She held out her hand and waited until he took it before leading them over to the table to sit. “Talk to me.”

Alec shook his head and swallowed down the feelings that were threatening to drown him. This was how he got into this mess to begin with. Feeling too much. “Magnus has a friend who just recently adopted a young Warlock child. She came to New York to ask Magnus to help with teaching the little girl how to control her magic.”

Maryse nodded but didn’t say anything.

“She’s not just an old friend,” Alec said.

“A former lover,” Maryse guessed.

Alec nodded. “And she flirts with Magnus all the time. She’s always finding some reason to touch him or bring up their time together.”

“Oh, honey. I’m sure he’s just being polite and trying to help a friend.”

“It’s more than that. He lets her touch him. He laughs with her, and they do stuff together. It’s like I’m a guest in my own home. When Catarina comes over with Madzie, they include me. At the very least, they wait and have dinner with me. Magnus and Adele either take Sophia out or they’ve already eaten by the time I get there.”

“Maybe she’s not comfortable with Shadowhunters,” Maryse suggested. She reached out and reclaimed Alec’s hand and squeezed. “If she’s not from around here, she may not have the best relationship with Shadowhunters.”

“I get that, I honestly do, but Magnus doesn’t seem to be trying to help her get to know me. He seems fine with it being just them,” he huffed.

“Alec, why did Magnus say you should leave?”

Alec swallowed and felt a measure of shame. “I told him how I felt.”

Maryse closed her eyes for a second before a rueful smile quirked at her lips. “As diplomatic as I know you can be, I also know how you get when your emotions are involved. Alec, it’s ok to be jealous. We all have our insecurities, but you can’t let them take over.”

“Mom,” Alec muttered. He was getting upset again, and his distress was coming through in the tremor in his voice. “He’s been with women before. He’s always wanted a family. Whether you or Magnus want to admit it, Adele has made it very clear that she would jump at the chance to be with Magnus again. She’s hinted so many times about how rare a Warlock family is and how it would be so good for Sophia.”

“Magnus loves you.”

“And he cared for Adele once as well,” Alec pointed out.

“But he married you.”

“And she has a child now.”

“Alec…”

“He asked me to leave.” He was done with this conversation. He’d spent the past week feeling like a stranger in his own life, and despite his efforts to be understanding, he couldn’t do it anymore. It hurt to be shut out in this way, and he was tired of hurting. He might not have a place to call home at the moment, but he knew how to protect himself. He’d spent most of his life pushing down his feelings until he didn’t feel anything at all. And he would do it again. “Can I stay here?”

“Alec, I’m sure he didn’t mean….”

“It’s a yes or no. If not, that’s ok. I’ll find somewhere else.”

Maryse gave his hand another squeeze before letting go with a sigh. “Of course, you can stay. You never have to ask. I’d planned to stay at Luke’s tonight, so you’ll have the upstairs apartment to yourself.”

“Thank you.” He stood up. He could see that his mom was waiting for something, but Alec didn’t have it in him to give it to her. Emotions cloud your judgement, and right now, he couldn’t afford that luxury.


End file.
